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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “crash”, where he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his actions, rendering him highly sensitive to disapproval from others. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. But, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment without having previously arrived at that realization by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people hide it, because of widespread prejudice associated with the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

While up to 75% of people identified as having NPD are men, studies suggests this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Even with this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number